Today I rode from Kanazawa to Toyama. The distance was 70 km. Even though it was far too hot today, I rode fast. I got to Toyama by half past two in the afternoon. I'd decided I could go to Marugame Seimen once I was done, so I wanted to get it over with quickly. After eating, I accidentally fell asleep in the restaurant, which was embarrassing. Toyama was really good. The public spaces were beautiful, and at night everything was lit up, so it had a calm atmosphere. Fugan Unga Kansui Park might be my favourite park so far too.

Every morning when I wake up, it's boiling hot. I'm covered in sweat from head to toe, and I'm desperate for the toilet. It honestly feels like I could wet myself at any moment. I usually wake up at 7am. Last night I didn't even go to bed late and I still woke up at 7. I pack up quickly and escape from the tent ⛺️💨.

Sometimes I camp on riverbanks. Honestly, it's ridiculously convenient. In the morning I can find a riverbank to camp on with Google Maps, and there's no reception, so I can arrive whenever I like. Sometimes, on days when I plan to camp on a riverbank, I ride my bike all day long. I don't think about anything, I just ride. It's a state close to homelessness, but somehow I like it. On the other side of the planet, in a country I'd never been to, with no address and nowhere to live, just riding a bike. I feel like a modern-day adventurer. Sometimes when I'm asked for my address or where I live, I answer "I don't have one", and sure enough I get strange looks. Right now I feel truly free. I've been released from society. Nobody expects anything of me. Earlier this year, when I was still a university student, I felt really tied down mentally. Even after working hard for four years, it felt like it meant nothing. The idiots around me were cheating and still getting the same grades. I realised you don't really need to work hard to get good grades. Once you understand how the system works, you can get the grades without doing anything. In my final term I didn't want to study, because I didn't like it. I thought it was all ridiculous. I thought it was pointless. Why do you have to work hard at something even if you don't like it? Wouldn't it be better to find something you love? Even so, there are probably plenty of people who'd always say, "the world and society aren't that simple, it's not that easy, sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do." Those people might be right. But I think this society is a real waste of talent. So many talented, brilliant people around me have been brainwashed for the sake of money, working their whole lives in stifling companies and living boring lives. It's like a deal with the devil. I might never find something I love that I can earn a living from for the rest of my life, but I intend to keep looking until I die. Even if I end up poor, I might still keep looking. I always feel like people expect things of me. That I have to graduate from university, that I have to work a boring job. But recently I realised those expectations don't matter. Right now, everyone can read about my life on this blog. Even so, I don't think anyone is reading it. If it weren't for this blog, I'd have no connection left to the world I've lived in back in the UK. Of course I'm still in touch with my friends, but I'm truly independent. I've never had this feeling before. But now I'm cycling alone across a country I'd never once been to. It's ridiculous, isn't it? I don't understand it either. Even so, it's so much fun.

During my four years at university, I never had a moment to look back on my life. My time at university was really good. I got to have lots of new experiences and met amazing people too. I trained Muay Thai for three years and fought in two bouts, joined a committee, and made lots of friends as well. I studied loads of engineering and learned interesting things "temporarily". I somehow learned Japanese in the time left over too. So what I want to say is, "that was busy". I was always living with FOMO (the fear of missing out on important things and experiences). I was always told that "university is the most fun time of your life", so I didn't want to have regrets. Of course I have no regrets at all, but I think this is a different period now. I have no idea what kind of period it is, but what I can say for sure is that it's a different one. I thought I'd definitely get down and sad after university, so I decided to do something amazing instead. I always get sad when I think about things I'm nostalgic for. So rather than sadly remembering things that will never come again, I thought it would be better to have new experiences and make new memories.

If I were to separate my university years one by one and give each a name, these are the names I'd give them:

First year: "Newness". I got to have loads of new experiences. Second year: "Learning". It was during Covid, so I learned not only about engineering but also that sometimes life doesn't go to plan. I started learning Japanese too! Third year: "Balance". I managed to do everything: studying, relationships, Japanese, Muay Thai. It was the ideal year. Fourth year: "Growth". A lot of bad things happened in the first term of my fourth year. Even though nothing was going right, I learned about myself and felt like I became my true self. It was precisely because those things happened that I was able to grow. Because I was put in a bad place, I got past it and became a better version of myself. It was because I had good friends and family that I got through that time. So I'm truly grateful. This year: I wonder. What kind of year will it be? Reflection? Success? Discovery? Invention? Growth again? Daydreaming?

It's hard to explain, but usually the words don't come out freely and I feel "friction". By friction I mean something like "the words don't come out unless I try hard, and even when they do, they don't sound natural." Today is one of those days. Something I've realised recently is that language is like a sport. Your condition really matters, and it changes from day to day. Even so, even when I don't want to write at all, or talk at all, it's better to make the effort. If I do, then on the days when I'm in good condition I can really feel the growth. By the way, language really is an amazing thing. So many skills are contained within it. For example, pronunciation, memory, pattern recognition, sociability, confidence, concentration, determination. This list could go on forever, but everyone would definitely get bored. What I want to say is that through learning Japanese I've been able to learn lots of skills. And still, sometimes the words come to mind naturally and I can freely say what I'm thinking. It happened yesterday too and it felt really good, like I'd gone Super Saiyan.

I don't usually take rest days, and I spend just one night in each city. When I arrive, I do as much sightseeing as I can, even if I'm tired. Most Japanese cities are lit up and beautiful at night as well. So I usually ride around the city until late and rest in public spaces. While I was in Bristol, I spent more time on campus than at home, so I'm pretty used to this kind of life. If you can sit in a beautiful square, there's no need to spend time at a campsite. That said, I'll be really relieved once I find a place in Tokyo. I can't keep living like this forever.

Lately the words haven't been coming to me, so I've been making a point of listening to audiobooks and reading books. It's important to take in lots of input so that I can draw inspiration from the sentences I read. If I keep repeating that, the words will start to come freely.

In my fourth year, my bike was broken for two months. Getting to university on foot took 45 minutes. Even so, looking back, it was a really good time. Every day, from the moment I woke up, I looked forward to the walk. There were two reasons why. The first was that it was my habit to listen to audiobooks and book-explainer videos while walking. It's a bit odd, but it was seriously fun. Being able to focus on input for 90 minutes a day without distraction was a real joy. I'd be doing input at home anyway, so for me, doing it while walking killed two birds with one stone. The second reason was that it gave me time to think. When you're always busy, it becomes an excuse not to sort out your head. Honestly, before that, I didn't like thinking deeply. That's because whenever I got lost in thought, my thinking always turned negative and I'd get anxious. So I made excuses and avoided my own thoughts as much as I could. But during that period I needed to sort out my head. So I gradually came to like thinking, and even looked forward to it. I thought that if I could get my head in order, I could overcome any difficult problem that came up. My friends are similar to me, which may be one of the reasons we became friends. They always overthink. So what I wanted to say is: it's okay. I really do understand that feeling.

When you're this alone, you realise how important family and friends are. Without my family and friends, what on earth am I? Just a living creature. Without relationships, there's nothing. I think this journey feels like being carried along by a river. I'm swimming in the river while gazing at the beautiful scenery, and sometimes I find a rock, sit down for a moment, and talk to a bird. I may never see that bird again for the rest of my life, but there's a beauty in that too. After chatting with the bird, there's nothing for it but to jump back into the fierce current. I look for the next rock while taking in the scenery.

The kindness of Japanese people has changed my perspective too. At first I wondered why they treat strangers so kindly. But I'm gradually coming to understand. It's because showing gratitude is important in Japan. I think there are many ways of showing it, but one is to be kind to others. Everyone is truly lucky, and just being able to live safely in this world makes us truly lucky. Sometimes we tend to forget that. But we really are lucky.

I may have taken a lot of inspiration from Kino's Journey.