It was a pretty long way from Kanazawa to Niigata, so I decided to rest for three days. Today is the second day of my break. I did lots of sightseeing yesterday, so today is a proper rest.

I'm writing this at 9pm. I did nothing today, and yet it may have been the most important day of all. Fatigue has been building up until now, so my head got tired and I'd started to feel I was at my limit.

Yesterday, to calm myself down, I wrote a list of things I wanted to do, and today I got through most of it. What I wrote today was a bit all over the place, so I'll write what I did today below.

I woke up at 6 and it was far too hot. I somehow managed to sleep in until half past seven, and when I got up I was swimming in a puddle of sweat. I went to a convenience store and bought an onigiri and an iced coffee. I went to an onsen and soaked for an hour, alternating between hot and cold water. I came back to life again. I felt completely refreshed. I had chāshū ramen, and the pork back fat was seriously delicious. I went to Starbucks, drank a mocha, and read for hours (it was stupidly hot, yet I ordered a hot mocha. Iced coffee has too much ice in it so it's poor value, and I like mocha too. I was asked several times whether I really wanted it hot, and each time I said, "yes, hot please." Even the member of staff making the coffee asked me, "a hot mocha, is that definitely right?" "Yes, I want a hot mocha. No, I'm not some weirdo murderer, just someone who likes hot mocha." Sorry, back to describing today). I had katsudon while reading some more. I went to Book Off and read a bit of Baki. I came back to the convenience store, and now I'm writing my blog.

This convenience store might be my favourite so far. It's a three-minute walk from my tent, and it has an eat-in space and lots of sockets. Yesterday and today, I've spent ages in the convenience store and gone back to the tent when I want to sleep.

If I didn't need to work, I might read for several hours every day. One summer holiday I read for more than five hours every day. That was a really peaceful time. Every day I'd put up a hammock and read while listening to music. That's happiness.

My tent is a long way from central Niigata, so I didn't go into the city today. The neighbourhood is mostly retail parks, but it was interesting to spend the day like a local. The people in Starbucks were locals too. I feel like I got a good sense of what it's like to live in Niigata.

Today, as much as possible: don't fiddle with my phone. Focus on my own thoughts. Think in Japanese. Focus on the things around me. Write notes when I feel like writing. Look up every word I don't know, as a game. That's better than fiddling with my phone, isn't it?

Fiddling with my phone tires my head out needlessly. It's not that I have no energy at all, it's just that I'm not using it efficiently.

I didn't want to pay the 790 yen entry fee for the onsen, but my hair had got greasy, so I had to go in.

Every time I go to an onsen, I forget everything. Sometimes I even forget my own name. That's a joke, but I really do forget things like where I am and what I'm doing. I always forget my locker number and where it is too. For idiots like me, the number is written on the key tag, so it's fine, but if it weren't, I might end up looking for my shoes forever. I felt clean and refreshed. Maybe too refreshed. Next time I'll probably forget my name and my birthday too. Something to look forward to.

I don't know why, but I felt the need to move slowly. To spend just one day taking it easy and resting my body and my head. I don't have to think about anything. When I left the onsen I was in a good mood. I felt refreshed. I'd wanted to read for a long time, so today I read loads. Right now I'm reading First Person Singular. I'm resting my head today, so I'll write a review later, but in short, it's interesting and I like it.

Yesterday my dad asked me, "why don't you stay in a hostel when it's pouring with rain?" That's obviously the most sensible choice, but I have a reason for not doing it. It's the same reason I've been hard on myself lately. I think staying in a hostel would feel like giving up mentally. My usual way of thinking is the same: if I'm not hard on myself, I might get weak and give up. So at important times I'm hard on myself, and I stay hard on myself until I've got through everything I have to do.

Today I was kind to myself. It may be an odd way to put it, but it's true. I did what I wanted to do without thinking about the consequences. I'm always lecturing myself that I have to do things a certain way. Today was different.